I Have Dreamed More Real Than Waking

[Fire Monkey]

Golden chrysanthemums litter the path
With the superfluous dusting of pine pollen gold
As the Phoenix perches in the chocolate tree
And the fairies twitter of stories untold
The mighty river flows down t'ward the sea
Can anyone make it return where it came
As the birds flying high in their journey down south
And bleached white rainbows seem to whisper my name
Delicate and fragile as an orchid's petals
My mind slips down a sunbeam's shaft
As through my closed eyes I can still smell the perfume
And hear the sweet music as the shadowed ones laughed

A world of harsh solids and stern ways to think
Is held to accounting by that dimly seen
For the world of the hidden, the shadows, the fay
Is so much desired by those who have been
I live in a world which men may call real
But I've seen so much more than the dull mind can think
I've heard colours that sing and seen the taste of laughter
And I've traveled the journey right up to the brink
For those who can hear me and know what I speak
Can we ever go back to the start
For all of the visions that gather around us
Will always be part of our heart

Copyright June 26, 2010 by Timothy Emil Birch

[Reilley]

Bravo. This is one of those rhyming poems that reads like conversation.

Not gonna chide you about the lack of punctuation, because I feel like it gives this piece a 'stream-of-consciousness' feel that really works. Lots of imagery and idea collisions going on, I liked the tonality of it, overall.

[Fire Monkey]

Thanks, I'm glad you liked it.

In this case specifically the lack of punctuation is a very intentional element of the poem actually [not to suggest that is always the case] but for this, I wanted a flow of words like they were just bubbling out in an unrestrained way. The question of punctuation in this poem is addressed, you might say, by these two lines:

A world of harsh solids and stern ways to think
Is held to accounting by that dimly seen

The poem is all about unconventional thoughts and things and so the restraints of rules like commas and such seemed contrary to the poem ;D

[elizajgomez]

This was absolutely wonderful--I didn't know how I would like it, at first, as I'm not prone to rhyming poems per se, but I really love the images you portray and especially love the lines below:

"I live in a world which men may call real
But I've seen so much more than the dull mind can think"

And I, too, really felt the lack of punctuation was totally appropriate--in fact, if you had punctuated it differently, it would have been "noise" that interrupted the wonderful flow of imagery you wrote. Thanks!

[Fire Monkey]

Perhaps I will win you over to rhymed poetry ;D of course, I write a lot of free verse as well as rhymed and sometimes I write stuff that has both formed combined so some verses rhyme and others do not. I mostly never let form get in the way of substance if I can help it. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem.

[Brigid Briton]

Tim,

I have been meaning to comment on this since you posted it. In fact I thought I had commented on it. It is beautiful. I especially love the Phoenix perching in a chocolate tree and bleached white rainbows whispering. Wonderful, haunting poem. Great use of language.



Brigid

[Fire Monkey]

I have always liked the Phoenix and who can not like chocolate ;D and as it happens, chocolate DOES grow in trees [well, it has to be processed a bit but....] It's always hard to decide on images when the point is to show how the mind can travel where cold logic and hard science cannot go, so I went for images that 'felt' good to me.

[diannet]

A well executed rhyming poem. It has a lovely cadence, and feel like the words are dancing.

[Fire Monkey]

Thank you.