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Post by Deleted on Mar 12, 2011 9:28:01 GMT -6
A nasal whine that sounded like
The whistle of a train
But held such a compelling note
That made it sustain
In the hearts and minds of men and women
Like the memory of pain.
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Post by Reilley on Mar 12, 2011 9:34:10 GMT -6
Howdy, ma'am, welcome aboard.
Sorry, could not resist the cowboy train reference. ;D
This is a nice little word sketch, and it fits my own perception of his voice quite well. Keep it up!
Look forward to reading more.
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Post by SweetSilverBird on Mar 12, 2011 16:39:29 GMT -6
If any short poem captured the essence of Hank Williams, it's this one! I'm very amazed!
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Post by Brigid Briton on Mar 12, 2011 19:51:19 GMT -6
Hi mrsbongle This is a clever, spot-on depiction of Hank's voice. If you write other poetry about singers, it might be cool to post one in our "Come Out and Play" section as challenge---leaving the name off and making us guess. That could be a lot of fun. I think your meter's a bit off and "sustain" is a reach for a rhyme with "train". I think "remain" would be a far better choice. Overall, though I think this is a cool poem.  Brigid |
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Post by Fire Monkey on Mar 13, 2011 2:00:01 GMT -6
Speaking as one who grew up listening to old Hank - I really like this poem - well done, I can see him standing there on stage.
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