Let Fears Wait

[Fire Monkey]

Wild blows the wind while the darkness burns
In the deepest winter when the moonlight turns
As the snow falls down on the burdened trees
In the secret places that no one sees

The shades that gather are just whispered form
As the world is waiting for the coming morn'
Though the windows rattle or the door might creak
Just close your eyes and go to sleep

The things that might be, are running late
The things you fear will have to wait
For now it's time for gentle dreams
You know that nothing's as it seems

Long shadows grow and cast their dread
But the sun will rise leaving shadows dead
Never mind those mysteries
If they're important then we shall see

Lay down your head, all the rest will wait
The morning comes with it's new slate
so sleep a time while the planet turns
And the wild wind blows as the darkness burns

Copyright Jan 28, 2011 by Timothy Emil Birch

[diannet]

I really like this, it has a nice rhythm, it also has that romanticism feel like Shelley which I love. Only... I felt two lines should be revisited to see if you could come up with something with a little more punch or interest...
"nothing's as it seems" felt a bit predictable and "If they're important we shall see" didn't seem right???

The first 3 lines in that third stanza are so good and leading somewhere and I think you may have rushed it a tad.
I hope I haven't been over critical as I really do like this!

[Fire Monkey]

Fear not ;D it was not too critical - actually, it's hard to be too critical with me since as long as a person is speaking from the heart, I accept it - not to say I agree, that depends - but I accept the opinion. I might see if I can improve one of those lines, the other I like as it is