AT RIVER'S EDGE - A Pensee

[Lisa Arnold]

Hi all,

I do not know if this is the correct place to put this poem, I did not know where else to put it..it is a Pensee...

AT RIVER'S EDGE


echoes
broken, hollow
fall against fierce midnight winds
at river's edge shadows are cast
storm's rage has left its path


©2011 Lisa Arnold

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[Neal Allen (snowtracks)]

Hi Lisa

Clearly there is a story behind this wistful tale and we do not know that story. I can only assume that the storm is a metaphorical one that relates to a traumatic incident in your life. I like the symmetry and structure of the piece and it leaves me feeling a bit sad about what might have happened.

I would place this Pensee under free verse but not under Haiku. If you agree, the moderators can move it for you.

Kind regards

Neal (Snowtracks)

[Brigid Briton]

Hi Lisa,

Very nice! Thanks for introducing us to the pensee. It's a very interesting form and, as far as I can tell, you've done it just right.

Since the form has very strict structural rules, it clearly doesn't fit into the category of free verse so I think we can leave it right here for the time being.

For those not familiar with this English poetry form with a French name, a pensee is a five line poem with the following syllable count:

2-4-7-8-6

The first line is the subject.
The second line is a description.
The third line contains action.
The fourth line gives the setting.
The fifth line is a final thought.

I'm hoping others will try their hand at this. It should be especially appealing to fans of the 5-7-5 haiku construct.



Brigid

[eiken]

Lisa,
Lovely work, really like the imagery and the flow. The idea of echoes broken hollow is wonderful, then the strength of the winds, river shadows and the storm abates...so much in such a short piece, love it, powerful Will have to try a pensee, thank you for introducing it.

[diannet]

Lovely Lisa, and wow a new short form...got to say I do love those short forms.
Thankyou Brigid for giving us the information, I think this is a form I may like to try in the future.