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Post by eiken on Jan 10, 2013 10:17:54 GMT -6
hazy moon
in a dream
you came to me
frosted bluebells
in your hands
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Post by diannet on Jan 10, 2013 13:29:01 GMT -6
This is a wonderful tanka Eiken... :)I might omit the "see" but that's just for flow reasons either way it's still beautiful.  |
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Post by eiken on Jan 11, 2013 8:06:38 GMT -6
Dianne, I actually do not have see in the original so thank you for pointing it out, not sure why I put it in? |
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Bhavanidevi
Junior Member
Mystic, Shaman, Poet and life-long student of Comparative Religions.
Posts: 56
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Post by Bhavanidevi on Jan 13, 2013 23:06:49 GMT -6
I like the way you not only made the picture in my mind, you caught my heart-strings with "frosted bluebells in your hands." Beautifully romantic.
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Post by eiken on Jan 14, 2013 12:17:02 GMT -6
Thank you Bhavanidevi |
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