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Post by sammyr on Jan 28, 2014 6:26:14 GMT -6
Driving the canoe,
The sky burns hot.
The sun seems blue,
And i swim in oblivion.
With a heavy head,
i sit astride my white swan.
Taking flight from the deck,
Just. Out.
You smile,
In this whirlwind i dance.
You insist you're fine,
But i see the blood.
Deliberately ambiguous,
Two tails, No head.
Why her?
These are my hands.
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Post by Fire Monkey on Jan 29, 2014 15:17:11 GMT -6
Hi - and welcome to the board. I'm afraid it isn't as busy as it used to be but I'm hoping it will pick up. Most of the people that posted regularly got busy with life and so we just stopped getting on so often ... and for that matter I know some of us have had dry spells in our writing. But I hope you have a look around - there is some wonderful poetry here - you may not like it all but I'm sure you'll enjoy some of it.
Now as for your poem - that's an interesting collection of images. I'm much more a rhymed poet though I do a bit of free verse from time to time, but I can't be as constructive as I would like about the form, but I do like the rhythm of the words - it's well paced and the images have a quiet power to them. I like the result.
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Post by sammyr on Feb 7, 2014 6:09:31 GMT -6
Thank you. I am glad you appreciated it.
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Post by Fire Monkey on Feb 15, 2014 14:24:01 GMT -6
You're welcome - I hope that poetry stays a big part of who you are. I just read another poem you posted and it confirms in my mind that as far as I am concerned, you have the single most important thing any poet or writer or composer or artist needs most and that is a creative spark within. Everything else can be taught but that one thing comes from the person and without it you could have the greatest teachers and the best schools and spend all the time you want and you would never rise above adequate but with that spark you have the potential to become as great a poet as you are willing to work towards.
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