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Post by Cory Raymond on Feb 17, 2014 11:38:29 GMT -6
Yes, I know that it's not quite March yet. Still, this somehow seems appropriate:
I sit by the window
regarding the blackened bougainvillea,
comatose hibiscus and ruined roses,
my foot drumming to the beat
of a different March.
Not Sousa or Strauss,
but the pulse of an impatient Spring,
bulging with color and perfume and life,
eager to repair winter’s destruction.
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Post by Brigid Briton on Feb 18, 2014 12:26:13 GMT -6
Hiya Cory, Welcome to our forum. Well, I think most people in this country can definitely relate to this poem. Seems like we're all longing for Spring, after (or during) this uncommonly nasty winter. Good job!  |
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saore
Junior Member
Posts: 91 
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Post by saore on Feb 19, 2014 14:53:22 GMT -6
I live in the tropics but I liked your poem a lot. I do wonder if the last word of your last line can be a little more poetic, something like "devastation" destruction reads a little technical to me. But then again it could be just me.
Love the poem.
Sergio
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Post by Cory Raymond on Feb 19, 2014 15:17:51 GMT -6
Hi Sergio. Thanks a lot for your comment. Hmm...you may be right...but now I'm turning over still other possibilities in my mind for that last word. I see that we're both newbies here. I hope I'll be seeing you around.
Cory
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Post by Reilley on Feb 19, 2014 15:20:58 GMT -6
How about the word "desiccation", the withdrawing of moisture. Seems to fit. |
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Post by Fire Monkey on Feb 20, 2014 18:15:43 GMT -6
While the winter is not a problem here in Vancouver Canada where I live - we still have green grass [well, mostly] but I have seen enough of harsh winters to relate I do like this poem - it captures the mood well and if I close my eyes I can remember that feeling from when I lived back east where winter was often too cold and too long and after all, is that not the sign of a good poem - that it can tap into the mind of the reader and take them to the scene that is being painted? Oh yes, and welcome to both the new comers here [and forgive me if I welcome you more than once - I'm great with faces but slow with names so I'd rather welcome a person twice than accidentally miss someone new ] |
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Post by Cory Raymond on Feb 20, 2014 22:51:37 GMT -6
Hi Reilley and Fire Monkey,
Thank you for your comments. FM, I especially appreciate your well-thought-out comment. Makes me feel like I hit the mark. and no, you haven't welcomed me before.
I hope I'll be seeing you guys around.
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Post by Fire Monkey on Feb 23, 2014 3:09:45 GMT -6
I think it is quite likely you will  |
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