saore
Junior Member
Posts: 91
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Post by saore on Feb 21, 2014 11:06:30 GMT -6
The Critic
I don’t believe in love.
And it’s because of me,
and the childish reproaches
of Simon Bolivar dying
of tuberculosis before his time.
Writers stood in line for centuries
hoping to unravel the sleep habits
of this sparse saint, this intriguing man.
I spent four years exhuming
the remains of all my ancestors,
searching for connections, the
pitter – patter pitter – patter
intuition of my mind’s eye
the sounds of the dead eating toast,
the ruckus of crows playing dominoes
while the polymaths of America
worried about their law degrees
and what beds it would take
to become a politician.
I don’t believe in love
my gear's teeth have all been wasted.
But this is not about love, bones, or scales.
It’s about the boarding house
and a can of corned beef,
warm rain, and trying to resuscitate
suicides at a séance.
This is about riding a monocycle backwards
in traffic to stage happenings
wearing see–through clothes for Green Peace.
It is not about global warming.
It’s about fighting to get certified
as a sign language instructor for trees,
and getting National Security to stop
monitoring steel bands.
We’re having a rally next Friday.
it’s about the breath of fresh roses in our tombs.
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Post by Brigid Briton on Feb 21, 2014 11:26:18 GMT -6
Wow! Sergio, this is really great. You have some wonderful images here. "Sounds of the dead eating toast", "ruckus of crows playing dominoes", "trying to resuscitate suicides at a séance", "breath of fresh roses in our tombs" ...all delicious. My only question is about the "my axle's teeth have all been wasted". I don't think that axle's have teeth. I think they are smooth rods or shafts. I think you might mean "gear" but, then, my only real expertise with mechanics is that I had my car in the repair shop yesterday. This is a very enjoyable read. So happy you shared it with us.
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saore
Junior Member
Posts: 91
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Post by saore on Feb 22, 2014 11:50:30 GMT -6
Dear Brigid,
I think you are right, it is "gear's teeth" I just looked it up. No wonder I couldn't get it accepted for publication. Thank you very, very much.
Sergio
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Post by Fire Monkey on Feb 23, 2014 3:31:06 GMT -6
That is quite a ride - a lovely job of building a feeling out of words. I like it.
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saore
Junior Member
Posts: 91
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Post by saore on Feb 23, 2014 9:01:32 GMT -6
thank you Fire monkey. Thank you.
Sergio
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Post by SweetSilverBird on Feb 28, 2014 22:04:10 GMT -6
Sergio, this poem took me back to the feeling of the writing of Isabel Allende and her The House of the Spirits. Really very lyrical and mystical. I encourage you keep writing. This is so good for you and for anyone who reads it.
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