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Post by sopphey on Feb 24, 2014 19:52:16 GMT -6
I want to take you to watch the symphony Lean over during intermission Place a kiss on your lips When the maestro puts down his baton Bows to the audience
I want us to sneak out Through the side door Don't want any distractions or witnesses to my love for you
We'll wander to the ocean By starlight we will draw out the strings in unorganized rhythm Letting the wind be trumpets Like our beating hearts Our limbs an echo of galaxies Trombones exploding in star dust
By sunrise We'll return to ourselves Leave the ocean's side Kiss good morning
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Post by Brigid Briton on Feb 24, 2014 22:03:52 GMT -6
Hi Sopphey, What a great debut on our forum. Romantic and sensual...very nice. Makes me (almost) remember what it was like to be young. Makes me want to sneak out a side door somewhere...but then, I probably wouldn't remember where I was going... But enough about me and my elipses, I hope you'll take some time to check out the forum and perhaps comment on the work of some of our other poets since it's clear you have a strong poetic voice and sensibility. We're very happy that you're here. If you have any questions, please send me a PM and I'll get back to you soon. Brigid
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saore
Junior Member
Posts: 91
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Post by saore on Feb 25, 2014 11:19:43 GMT -6
Very romantic and sensual. I like this one.
Sergio
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Post by eiken on Feb 26, 2014 13:09:17 GMT -6
Sopphey, Welcome to the forum. This is indeed a lovely poem, full of the romance we all love to read, very enjoyable I notice you do not use punctuation and wonder if the poem would be enhanced with commas and full stops as I felt I was putting them in for you as I read it and was not sure at times where to put them. Just a thought!! Beautiful work!!
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Post by SweetSilverBird on Feb 28, 2014 21:50:47 GMT -6
So nice to meet you. This is romance at its best romantic and visual without filling in all the graphics. Each reader can fill in the grittier details. You make it beautiful and exciting to be young and in love. <3
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Post by sopphey on Mar 3, 2014 17:11:12 GMT -6
Thanks for all the lovely comments everyone. I'm doing my best to find words for everyone's lovely poems!
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Post by Fire Monkey on Mar 16, 2014 9:32:33 GMT -6
This is a wonderful poem, it captures the feeling, the moment it says everything that needs to be said without going on to say the things that it doesn't need to say. Well written.
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pegesus
Junior Member
To learn from Life is to live Life
Posts: 54
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Post by pegesus on Mar 26, 2014 18:54:41 GMT -6
lovely words, sweetly written for the mind to celebrate life continual symphony of its own....oh the memories this old soul does have. peg
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Post by Reilley on Apr 7, 2014 12:24:56 GMT -6
A lovely melding of rhythm and melody here, as the spouse of a musician, I identified with this completely. Well done.
Keep writing!
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Post by Lisa Arnold on Apr 8, 2014 10:13:48 GMT -6
Hello Sopphey, very well-written
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Post by Daniel Mark Extrom on Apr 9, 2014 11:50:57 GMT -6
Hi Sopphey!
Nice to meet you!
Very well done! I'd write more but I feel like I should get to the symphony very soon . . .
Dan
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