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Post by Cory Raymond on Mar 1, 2014 16:59:45 GMT -6
Peacocks, posing prettily,
preening periodically,
prideful, plumed, poetically parading,
pretending
they don't taste
like chicken.
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Post by Brigid Briton on Mar 1, 2014 18:04:16 GMT -6
Perfectly P-ful.  |
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Post by eiken on Mar 3, 2014 13:21:27 GMT -6
Great fun Cory I recently saw a huge collection of peacocks in a park in Madrid, they have the most beautiful colours, wow, spectacular Enjoyed this, they are proud, they preen a lot and the were parading themselves!! |
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Post by Cory Raymond on Mar 4, 2014 12:51:38 GMT -6
Oh, eiken, you are so lucky. I only see the peacocks in my mind! Thanks for your comment! CR
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Post by Fire Monkey on Mar 16, 2014 9:39:10 GMT -6
I love it - and the way that everything starts with P until the last two lines which contain no P's at all gives it a special oomph [which I assume was the point] as I read it the 'voice' in my head actually changed involuntarily from a somewhat 'regal-snooty' voice to a 'common'/'blue collar' voice because of it |
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Post by Brigid Briton on Mar 16, 2014 18:12:55 GMT -6
Tim, I loved your comment on this. You hit the nail on the head about that change of voice. Cory, what do you think?
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Post by Cory Raymond on Mar 16, 2014 21:09:24 GMT -6
Thanks to all of you for your kind comments. And yes, Brigid, Tim definitely nailed it with regard to the voice change. It's all about people (or peacocks) who put on a lot of airs, but are just plain old people (or chickens) like the rest of us.
Cory
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blackbird
Newbie
Is it enough to have the desire for greatness to be great?
Posts: 34
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Post by blackbird on Mar 17, 2014 3:01:46 GMT -6
In the house where I grew up I listened to peacocks every night in the summer holler and holler out what sounded like Heee-elp Heee-elp...beautiful birds no doubt about that...beautiful song....I think not.
Nice poem. I do love all the memories past and present that come along with reading poetry here. I think that is what makes it an art. It provokes thought, stirs the soul, and feeds the mind. Bravo!
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John Walton
Junior Member
Please check out my Blog - mylifemywordsmypoetry.blogspot.com
Posts: 78 
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Post by John Walton on Mar 17, 2014 16:32:46 GMT -6
A perfect piece of prose, Cory! You should be proud! |
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Post by Daniel Mark Extrom on Mar 19, 2014 12:18:56 GMT -6
Hi Cory,
Loved it!
At first it made me want to P,
but then it went away.
Now I want a chicken sandwich.
Dan
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Post by Cory Raymond on Mar 19, 2014 12:44:23 GMT -6
Hi blackbird, John and Dan, Thanks for your comments. Dan, you're a pretty funny guy...a chicken sandwich, indeed! Guess it beats eating peacock (or crow!)
Cory
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Post by twriter44 on Mar 19, 2014 23:17:23 GMT -6
Very clever and well done - the pretensions of the peacocks exposed when their fears about being compared to chicken are revealed. I enjoy the wit and the conciseness.
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