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Post by Cory Raymond on Mar 4, 2014 13:05:14 GMT -6
Saluting stiff-armed, her twelve-year-old son calls her a Nazi, his words like acid in her face.
Her daughter, seventeen, and bent on going to hell, keeps still behind her closed door, making pretty incisions and humming softly.
Marie sighs and quietly shuts her own bedroom door. Curled on the bed, she reads the crumpled collection of meaningless words once more-- her husband's terse goodbye.
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Post by hazelmsmith on Mar 6, 2014 2:08:37 GMT -6
Beautifully written - so sad
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Post by Cory Raymond on Mar 6, 2014 16:09:10 GMT -6
Hi Hazel,
Nice to meet you. Thanks for your kind comment. Poetry isn't always about pretty things...
I hope I'll be seeing more of you around the forum. Cory
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Post by Reilley on Mar 7, 2014 10:07:19 GMT -6
Painfully poignant and powerful, if you will forgive the alliteration. This snapshot of a family in crisis is at once immediate and descriptive. A slice of a painful life.
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Post by SweetSilverBird on Mar 13, 2014 14:59:42 GMT -6
Life is brutal sometimes, eh? This was most poignantly wrought. I hope you are keeping these safely together.
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John Walton
Junior Member
Please check out my Blog - mylifemywordsmypoetry.blogspot.com
Posts: 78
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Post by John Walton on Mar 13, 2014 18:18:09 GMT -6
Powerful poetry that conjures up some dark images.
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Post by Daniel Mark Extrom on Mar 14, 2014 19:04:05 GMT -6
How very sad! And you captured the essence of the sadness - indeed desolation and devastation - so well.
Even more sad, it is all too common.
Dan
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Post by Brigid Briton on Mar 15, 2014 20:43:47 GMT -6
Hi Cory,
Well, this one certainly doesn't pull any punches. It's very accessible and fast-paced, allowing us to see this family as if we were peeking through their windows, or perhaps teeny flies on the walls. I wanted to take Marie in my arms, just hug her, and tell her everything is going to be OK, even though I don't know that it will be.
One of my favorites.
Brigid
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Post by Fire Monkey on Mar 16, 2014 10:28:26 GMT -6
Powerful - in just a few words you have said everything that needs to be said to capture so much. Well done. It is just so sad that such scenes not only can exist but that they do.
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