Echoes - An Acrostic

[Lisa Arnold]

Original:


Echoes - An Acrostic


echoes of my soul
call from within
hollow footsteps echo as I search
opaque darkness for proof of
existence. Moonlight’s glare
shines brightly upon the pathway


©2012 Lisa Arnold



Revision:


Echoes - An Acrostic


echoes of my soul
call from within
hollow footsteps echo as I search
opaque darkness for proof of
existence, moonlight’s glare
shines brightly upon the pathway


©2012 Lisa Arnold


***this poem is also included in my published poetry book...Echoes Of My Soul


for those not familiar with it, here is some info on the form...Acrostic

[Cory Raymond]

Hi Lisa,

This is lovely, the classic battle between dark and light. I'm wondering about your punctuation, though. I understand why you put a period after "existence" but having one there seemed to be inconsistent with the lack of capitalization at the beginning and lack of punctuation at the end. Just a thought.

Cory

[Lisa Arnold]

thanks for commenting, Cory!

I see what you mean about the punctuation, thanks

[Brigid Briton]

Hi Lisa,

I enjoyed this. Acrostics (one of the few forms you've brought us that I was already familiar with) are lots of fun.

Since I didn't see this in its original form, since you had already incorporated Cory's suggested change, I'd like to ask you if you could re-post the original just below the revision and label each accordingly.

We ask that people do their revisions this way so subsequent readers can compare the two versions (and perhaps learn something in the process!) Also, we can then see exactly what Cory was referring to in her comment.

Thanks so much for sharing this with us and for your much-welcomed participation in this forum.

Brigid

[Lisa Arnold]

thanks so much Brigid

I will post the original poem and the revision...