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Post by Lisa Arnold on Mar 28, 2014 2:44:56 GMT -6
From The Crawl – A Naani
hands bloodied
from the crawl, battered
mirror reflection
sorrowful eyes blankly stare
©2014 Lisa Arnold
***A Naani poem has 4 lines and 20 to 25 syllables in total. Typically, the Naani poem does not have to be about a particular subject but often they are about human relations or current statements.
***this is my first Naani poem. I love trying new forms...if anyone wants to know more about the form, check it out here Naani Poems
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John Walton
Junior Member
Please check out my Blog - mylifemywordsmypoetry.blogspot.com
Posts: 78 
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Post by John Walton on Mar 28, 2014 16:28:18 GMT -6
There are so many forms of poetry out there to try!
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Post by Brigid Briton on Mar 28, 2014 22:10:33 GMT -6
Haunting work, Lisa. Sounds like someone had a very bad day! Thanks for the heads up on yet another new form!
Brigid
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Post by Lisa Arnold on Mar 29, 2014 2:20:37 GMT -6
Hi John, yes there are many forms out there to try!
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Post by Lisa Arnold on Mar 29, 2014 2:24:04 GMT -6
Haunting work, Lisa. Sounds like someone had a very bad day! Thanks for the heads up on yet another new form! Brigid many thanks Brigid! actually, when I wrote this I was thinking about a battered woman who was feeling trapped without any hope of escape from her abuser...but of course, she is having a very bad day as well as a bad life... |
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blackbird
Newbie
Is it enough to have the desire for greatness to be great?
Posts: 34
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Post by blackbird on Mar 29, 2014 19:21:40 GMT -6
Lisa, I was touched by your "naani," I immediately thought of a soldier on the battle field, I think since I just read another one of your poems about a husband not returning it may have stuck in my conscious. In the perspective of a new "naani" reader, I wonder if mirror reflection would be more comfortable switching places with sorrowful eyes? I don't want to pick but my pattern brain thinks like this; battered hands line re: battered hands sorrowful eyes line re:sorrowful eyes if that makes any sense.....just an OCD look now I'll go turn my lights on and off 7 times....lol good read none the less.....  |
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Post by Lisa Arnold on Mar 29, 2014 22:58:21 GMT -6
Hi Blackbird, thanks so much for commenting, I really appreciate you doing so  I understand your suggestions, but I think I will leave it as it is, for now. Perhaps,I could play around with the line breaks? again, many thanks and I am glad you enjoyed reading my poem |
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