saore
Junior Member
Posts: 91
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Post by saore on Apr 10, 2014 7:32:24 GMT -6
Vietnam
I was a hippie
apprentice,
a secret heard for the
last time,
a song moving through the city
like a widow.
I was snow shredded with gunfire,
and roseflower petals
on a black dog.
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Vietnam
Apr 10, 2014 13:55:53 GMT -6
Post by Brigid Briton on Apr 10, 2014 13:55:53 GMT -6
Hi Sergio,
This is beautiful and haunting. Those of us who are literalists may be crying out for more information, but this is complete, just as it is, for me. I especially love the last verse. Gentle images contradicted by the violence and tragedy of war.
Great poem.
Brigid
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Vietnam
Apr 10, 2014 16:22:25 GMT -6
Post by Lisa Arnold on Apr 10, 2014 16:22:25 GMT -6
Hello Sergio,
a well expressed and presented poem...I like your bold style, you are a very talented writer!
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Vietnam
Apr 10, 2014 16:41:22 GMT -6
Post by Daniel Mark Extrom on Apr 10, 2014 16:41:22 GMT -6
Hi Sergio,
Lots said in a few words. We argued about it here on campuses and streets and on TV. Sounds like you lived it, or you knew someone who did and did not return. (The "literalist" in me(!)) tries to figure things out, but your images carry the message.
"A secret heard for the last time . . ." Like that.
Well done! Really.
Dan
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saore
Junior Member
Posts: 91
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Vietnam
Apr 11, 2014 7:02:45 GMT -6
Post by saore on Apr 11, 2014 7:02:45 GMT -6
Wow, Thank you all I wasn't sure about this one (specially the first two lines). I never went to Vietnam but did have friends that died there. Sergio
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Vietnam
Apr 22, 2014 2:04:29 GMT -6
Post by Fire Monkey on Apr 22, 2014 2:04:29 GMT -6
I particularly liked that really has a powerful feeling for me.
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saore
Junior Member
Posts: 91
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Vietnam
Apr 22, 2014 7:23:27 GMT -6
Post by saore on Apr 22, 2014 7:23:27 GMT -6
thank you Fire Monkey
Sergio
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Vietnam
Jul 27, 2014 12:30:08 GMT -6
Post by davidwayne on Jul 27, 2014 12:30:08 GMT -6
can relate to this one
hippie
apprentice,
David
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