saore
Junior Member
Posts: 91 
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Post by saore on Apr 11, 2014 9:26:45 GMT -6
He is what's left of my life
a blizzard of one snowflake
the lies I tell him are different
from the lies I tell myself.
When I walk, I part the air
between us, and "air
moves in
to fill the spaces
where my body's been."
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Post by Daniel Mark Extrom on Apr 11, 2014 14:08:26 GMT -6
Hi Sergio,
You really have a way with words. " . . . a blizzard of one snowflake" I like that.
I confess I am having a hard time understanding what has happened, or what the poem as a whole means, but I'm getting the picture that that's my fault, and I have to learn to just enjoy the mood created. But my sense is that this is a sad or pensive or depressed mood, but I'm not sure. It seems like it's a breaking up, and the narrator is sad about it, but seems sad that he/she feels sad, because it wasn't/isn't a relationship worthy of being sad about it coming to end. Or maybe not!
Anyway, I can still admire your language and your lines. And I do.
Dan
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saore
Junior Member
Posts: 91
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Post by saore on Apr 12, 2014 6:56:46 GMT -6
Dan you are right, the mood is very sad. And that is basically all I wanted to convey. Thank you.
Sergio
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