Spring Chills (draft musings, to be finished)

[eiken]

Clouds, sun white
circle the dawn,
fading dreams surf the edges.
Serrated memories
from a guitar,
a lost brother
to years strummed by.

Morning seeks shelter
from drizzling rain.
This ever changing season
bares itself on cool green fields
beneath a cawing sky.

I try to remember the scent of summer
drifting across bracken hills,
the trickle of thickets
perfumed with wild lilac
and a chime of wrens
on the tail end of buds
on this blustery day mid May.

[Fire Monkey]

Nice imagery I like the serrated memories

[kara]

oh nostalgia. perhaps a poet's curse and gift. i was talking to my bf about a memory the other day and he said "i don't really think about the past". like, PERIOD. do people do that??? i could drown in it. LOL. i like the "scent of summer." as we all know scent is tied to memory quite a lot. however i think "trickle of thickets" might be too much. JUST MY OPINION. i love the image of the wrens though. very nice

[Brigid Briton]

Hi eiken,

Lovely images, as usual.

I agree with kara about the "trickle of thickets" being just a bit too much and I think the phrase: "a lost brother to years strummed by" might be a little clearer reworded "a brother lost to years strummed by". I hope you'll come back and show us how you're going to finish this up.

Brigid

[eiken]

Kara and Brigid, thank you for your thoughts, I value them and will revisit this when I can