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Post by Gwen Dubeau on May 15, 2014 8:59:12 GMT -6
Love Tongue Heat, light color bursts forth blowing the curls swirling deep in the mind Pink in hue delight and teach. Day to show love to those that knew Engage love, let it in lingering on the tongue twisted and furled Heart spent forever held Bold emotions spun, made true.
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kara
Newbie
Posts: 26
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Post by kara on May 18, 2014 10:31:15 GMT -6
lovely verb-age i imagine this as laughter or just good energy in general, but i suppose it could be about LOVE with a capital L as well. assuming this poem is about YOU i bet you are a fun person to be around, full of light! i don't have much criticism, but i am sure i could come up with something if a particular line is bothering you or something.
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Post by Brigid Briton on May 18, 2014 19:46:07 GMT -6
Hi Gwen,
I mostly like this but am a bit confused by your capitalization and some punctuation. The only word I would capitalize, besides the first, is the E in Engage. I would lose the period after "teach" and add one after "knew".
It's a pretty poem but I got distracted by the things mentioned above.
Brigid
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Post by Reilley on Jun 12, 2014 7:29:23 GMT -6
Hi Gwen! Rock on, girl! Beside the grammar that Brigid pointed out, I'd put a comma after curls in the first stanza as well, but your mileage may vary.
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