Minute poem:Sarcastic

[Amanda Moore]

This a minute poem but it is a rhyming poem so I am putting it here, it is formatted into 3 stanzas of 8,4,4,4; 8,4,4,4; 8,4,4,4 syllables.
The rhyme scheme is as follows: aabb, ccdd, eeff
the prompt for this was sarcastic.

Your words like a knife cut my soul
Your words control
My tears tempt fate
Your words berate

Your sarcastic jabs sadden me
I need to flee
From all this pain
Be whole again

My life is precious yet damaged
Oh you manage
Make me regret
I can't forget

[Fire Monkey]

An interesting style and i think you have done a good job of it. I think however, that you might have had a more powerful poem if you had chosen to write it in a different style - not saying anything against what you have here, just that to me the feel of the style of poetry seems to work against the impact of the words rather than working with them. Something to think about - just one view of things but I tend to find certain patterns and styles of poems seem to ring better with certain topics and words.

[SweetSilverBird]

Amanda Moore, I really like your poem. It's like a wave crashes.. then smaller waves 4 times. It has a lot of power in this way. The story of the poem is distressing. I feel you are writing from your own pain. It is so real. You let us in on your world and for those of us who may have known something like it, we grieve with you.