Digital Society (Revised)

[Reilley]

(Original version)

I am entombed in my creations, yet
my status speaks for me – words of wit
or warmth, or encouragement,
letting you know that I am still here,
still connected to you
through the digital fingers
we all have in
each other’s pies.

I must remember to update;
eliminate the used and dried up,
noting who liked it, or commented,
who else is still alive.

Social media connects
while it separates,
the dichotomy lost on no one.
Even the language shifts
to accommodate,
diverging, converging
nouns masquerading as verbs
and vice versa.

And we poor meat monkeys
polish, shape and sand,
eliminating the unwanted,
and reinventing our image,
forgetting entire dimensions
to ourselves,
forging on in new,
digital skin.


(Revised version)

I am entombed in my creations, yet
my status speaks for me – words of wit
or warmth, or encouragement,
letting you know that I am still here,
still connected to you
through the digital fingers
we all have in
each other’s pies.

I must remember to update;
eliminate the used and dried up,
noting who liked it, or commented,
who else is still alive.

Social media connects
while it separates,
the dichotomy lost on no one.
Even the language shifts
to accommodate,
diverging, converging
nouns masquerading as verbs
verbs becoming nouns.

And we poor beginning tool users
polish, shape and sand,
eliminating the unwanted,
reinventing our image,
forgetting entire dimensions
to ourselves,
forging on in new,
digital skin.

[Callisse J. DeTerre]

I like the topic, most of the images and flow of this poem. I was disappointed in stanza 3, line 8; it sounds stilted. Also, I racked my brain for examples of lines 7 and 8 (same stanza) and came up with none, which weakened the poem's validity and therefore strength. I think the overall flow of stanza 4 would be aided by removing "and" from line 4. Finally, I don't know what you mean by stanza 4's "meat monkeys" and find the image a bit offensive. In general, this is a good poem in which I would invest the time to perfect it. Nonetheless, it remains a good poem without revision.

[Reilley]

I see what you mean about the vice versa line, you are right, I never saw it that way, but now I can.

"Meat Monkeys" is a fairly old (maybe a decade) user board (BBS) term for those just beginning to use tools, particularly digital ones. I can see how it might connote something insulting without that background. I will think about a different way to express that thought.

Facebook is used as a verb all the time, irt is now anyway. So is Twitter, "friend" and so forth. This is what I was alluding to.

Lastly, I agree about the 'and' in the final stanza, it is a bad habit of mine, one that often gets past me in editing.

I appreciate your comments, and will revise.

[Callisse J. DeTerre]

Glad you found the input helpful. And, okay - I get what you mean about the "nouns masquerading as verbs" a little bit. People do say "friend" as a verb now, rather than befriend. On Twitter, though, I though the verb was "tweet". And regarding Facebook, I hear people say, I'll post, update, or PM you "on Facebook"; I haven't heard it as a verb. Maybe it just hasn't reached my locale. Bottom line, though, I get what you mean and there are probably other examples. However, do you have any examples of verbs as nouns? Just because I haven't thought of any doesn't mean the poem is without validity there for everyone. If you have some examples, I'm sure others are aware as well. Just want you to be aware.

[Reilley]

It is not uncommon to hear someone say, "I'm gonna Facebook this!" That was the one that prompted my usage.

As far as verbs being used as nouns, the first examples I can think of are conduct, digest, escort, insult, produce, and record, while these gerunds are not really endemic to the digital revolution, I was thinking more of the malleability of language than any specific example.

[Callisse J. DeTerre]

Oh, well, I guess you can incorporate something broad like the malleability of language into the specific topic of the poem, although I wonder if it wouldn't serve itself better as the topic of another poem. So what does "I'm gonna Facebook this" mean? Obviously I'm not paying enough attention to the teenagers in my midst. ;D

[Fire Monkey]

Actually, this sort of thing is noting new - certain areas how always had things like it. For example, where my ex was raised they have a lot of odd word usage - my mother in law would say "I'm going to do bedroom." to mean that she would be cleaning the bedrooms. At first I thought it was just her, but I spent a summer in her home town and found everyone spoke like that.

The idea of using a noun as a verb is also a common practice in some areas and with the internet the language is changing fast because people all over the world are picking up these sorts of habits from all over and combining them. My brother could tell you a lot about it as he is a linguist and the shift in both spoken and written language is a part of the work he has done - for me it's just a curiosity so I am aware of it but have never really studied it.

[Brigid Briton]

Hi Reilley,

Almost three years have passed since you first posted this. I don't know how I missed it the first time. I hope that, by now, you're more comfortable in your digital skin!

This is an enjoyable and interesting commentary on the way we live.

I hope that, in the future, you will post your revisions above the original in the same thread so we can see the progression from one to the other. Deleting the orignal and leaving only the revision makes the posts that were made prior to the revision irrelevant.

Thanks!

Cyber Bridge

[Cory Raymond]

Hi Reilley,

I like this a lot. It's funny, isn't it, how quickly the world and the language of the world changes to keep up with technology.

I see what Brigid means about leaving the original version up. Some of the comments were irrelevant to the final version but I got the gist of the conversation anyway. It's kind of funny that in current usage "to friend" and "to follow" mean the same thing.

I'd be interested to know if you might be thinking of revising this again, to, er, update the status of your digital skin.

[Daniel Mark Extrom]

Hi Reilley!

It's nice to meet you.  When I first saw this a few minutes ago, and then saw that it was posted in 2011, I thought I must have accidentally pushed the wrong button, but that would happen in this new, now not so new, digital world. 

I really liked this piece. It was a rumination on what is, what may yet be coming, and a wondering of what has been lost in the process of moving into the future.  And maybe language is part of what is being lost. 

I heard that many schools are going to stop teaching handwriting to children, because they are so used to computers.  I'm not sure that's a good thing.  I've always felt that there's a bit of hand-brain connection, undefined but present, and what will they do when the power goes off? 

Anyway, it's a reminder of how fast our world is really moving, and it is a shame that, in some ways, our language will suffer.  But Shakespeare may have said the same thing in his day too. It occurs to me that as we are able to create text more quickly, are we able to formulate thoughts, and appreciate nuance, more effectively? Or less?  Is contemplation gone when the pen is taken from the hand? 

As the kids might say, "IDK."

Dan

[Reilley]

Thank you all for the great comments.

Hi Dan, nice to meet you as well, come on in, sit a spell, tell us a poem or two.

You know, this piece as was actually written some time in 2008. I'm glad to see it still has some life left in it. I still have the original laying around some place, I'll go look for it, see if I can't find it and repost it here.