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Post by diannet on Oct 13, 2011 17:14:59 GMT -6
In the Kamikaze cafe
I would scream the words to
In Between Days
thrashing it out on the dance floor
oh so
close to you
tequila slammers
stealing my heartbeat
hiding shyly behind eyeliner
and long black fringes
twenty one seemed to be languishing at the station
I had no idea back then forty was the
faster train.
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Post by heatherwordbender on Oct 13, 2011 18:27:21 GMT -6
yessssss...i adore this...will come back and look again when i am less gleeful. but for now...
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Post by SweetSilverBird on Oct 13, 2011 19:22:15 GMT -6
Over here in th uncivilized Americas - we call the fringes in hair - Bangs.  I thought I'd mention that for those who are confused. This is a wonderful snapshot of your youth. I can literally feel the turmoil and alienation of that time just from your words. Fantastic! |
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Post by heatherwordbender on Oct 13, 2011 19:46:18 GMT -6
Agatha Christie wore 'fringes'  which is how I knew what they were. Still my first vision was of monstrous long and dramatic eyelashes... |
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Post by diannet on Oct 13, 2011 23:30:09 GMT -6
I must say "bangs" would probably have suited this better considering the length and all the hair product used back then... ;D Glad you liked it too Heather...  |
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Post by eiken on Oct 14, 2011 4:53:46 GMT -6
Dianne, What a delight to read this, youth just oozes from the pen here and your style is wonderful. I love and relate so much to ..... hiding shyly behind eyeliner and long black fringes (mine is blonde) twenty one seemed to be languishing at the station I had no idea back then forty was the faster train. This is just excellent poetry. Love it I so relate to you. I still remember your poem, Love Cats on the Prowl if I remember the title well when you were just living on a song. Loved the youth and freedom in that too. Stunning work. |
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Post by Brigid Briton on Oct 14, 2011 6:03:31 GMT -6
Hi Dianne, I agree with the others that this is a great write. So alive and full of energy and humor. I must confess that I, too, thought "fringes" were long false eyelashes! My only nit is that I wonder why you placed a comma right in the middle of the poem, when you omitted using them on other lines. Perhaps putting "oh so close to you" all on one line would make it read a bit better. Other than that---awesome! |
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Post by diannet on Oct 14, 2011 6:35:41 GMT -6
So glad you enjoyed it Eiken and Brigid, it's good to know the energy is still there ;D. Thanks all, and Brigid I have no idea why I put a comma there but I have removed it now! |
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Post by Fire Monkey on Oct 15, 2011 2:14:58 GMT -6
I never had fringes or bangs [among other things] but I still relate to this poem - well done!
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I thought I'd mention that for those who are confused. 
which is how I knew what they were. Still my first vision was of monstrous long and dramatic eyelashes...
