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Post by dustandwater on Mar 9, 2011 1:00:53 GMT -6
The facts are useless in the glare, They lay their every failure bare, Yet you ignore what's placed before, To love without a care.
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Post by Fire Monkey on Mar 9, 2011 2:07:17 GMT -6
I like it - I do wonder if it is a formal style of poetry or just something you did on your own but either way I like it.
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Post by dustandwater on Mar 9, 2011 3:12:05 GMT -6
The rhyming scheme is actually that of a Limerick. (Information here: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerick_(poetry) ) I couldn't bring myself to list it as such however, as it doesn't really fit the criteria; I just borrowed the format. Glad you liked it though. Perhaps you could try one of your own? Rhyme A Rhyme A Rhyme B Rhyme B Rhyme A
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Post by Fire Monkey on Mar 9, 2011 3:15:10 GMT -6
I have to say I didn't recognize it.
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Post by Brigid Briton on Mar 9, 2011 7:25:21 GMT -6
Hi dustandwater, It's good to see you again. Ah, yes, it's so true that love has been known to turn a blind eye on the facts. I think this piece is a bit unclear: "they lay their every failure bare". Whose every failure? The facts? Some unnamed person? I suspect you mean that it's the object of that "love without a care", therefore it would be better to say "his" or "her" rather than "their". Please remember to post at least one comment or critique of another's poem in the category you're posting in each time you post one of your own. This forum is intended to encourage interchange of ideas between poets, rather than just being a showcase. Brigid
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Post by eiken on Mar 14, 2011 13:01:35 GMT -6
Dustandwater, I liked this poem, the flawed person, failures laid bare, that person turning a blind eye to the facts with that abandon.. to love without a care
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Post by Reilley on Mar 16, 2011 17:33:16 GMT -6
Hey, this would do well in the Clean Limerick Challenge!
Well done!
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Post by dustandwater on Mar 17, 2011 10:40:01 GMT -6
Hi, Reilley.
Thanks for your response.
I considered posting it over there but wasn't sure whether you were still after humour in the limericks.
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Post by Reilley on Mar 17, 2011 10:58:36 GMT -6
As far as I know limericks are not required to be humorous, although they usually are, probably as a side effect from the bawdiness.
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