You're gonna have to do better than that...

[diannet]

I was watching a DVD last night, and my husband always puts the subtitles on, anyway... he paused it while he went to get a drink and the subtitle at the bottom was...You're gonna have to do better than that... So I thought well...that could be an interesting challenge to use that line for some inspiration in coming up with a poem.

Here's my entry

He came to my door
when the rain cried my tears outside
dripping
as if he’d risen from the depths of the ocean
an octopus, who suckers me in
holding me tight, squeezing out my
not this time buddy!
standing there, on my front porch
a puppy without a home
holding flowers
that sagged under the weight of drops
forever landing
time after time – repeating
patterns of deceit
criss-crossing the unfulfilled promise
with his clever loopholes
well...
rain turns dirt into mud
and I am sick of cleaning my boots
so...
you’re gonna have to do better than that... Mr Wallow in your own muddy puddle
mine is clear, your ripple has smoothed
and I look forward to turning the soil

[Brigid Briton]

Wow, Dianne, hell hath no fury like a woman not only scorned but then expected to take him back for more. Very powerful!

I'm going to have to ruminate on this for a while before coming up with my own response to your challenge. Hmm...

I'll catch up with the thread later!

Thanks for this most interesting and challenging challenge!

[Fire Monkey]

I like it not sure if I have a poem in me right now but I'll see if I can write something for this challenge. It happens that at the moment your poem has a special resonance for me because of things happening, not in my life as such, but around me in the life of someone dear.

[lavenderblu]

Have you taken archery lessons? Straight through the heart. I love the images of a poor, lonely, wretched and wet "dog" thus the attachment. Nicely done.

Attachments:

[diannet]

Ha ha ha... ;D I'd forgotten about this one Lavenderblu... not an archer in the physical sense no...but aww if that little puppy came to my door, I would have to let him in...he's so adorable. ;D

[Brigid Briton]

Wow! I was so shocked when I scrolled down and saw my comment on this. I do not remember this thread at all! Thanks to LB for bringing it back with such an adorable dog.

Now, I'll have to think about rising to the challenge (after I get over feeling bad about my pitiful memory!)

[Brigid Briton]

After wracking my brain, here's what I came up with. I know that it's totally lame, but, hey, it's all I've got:

And then our esteemed moderator, Dianne, said, "Sorry Brigid, you're going to have to do better than that!"

[diannet]

What!!!! That's all you've got!!!! Well it's behind to door for you young lady... and you're just gonna have to come up with something better than that...or .....

[Brigid Briton]

Oh no, not behind the door!!! Anything but that...