It rained

[hazelmsmith]

The rain came down in torrents ,
Day after day after day.
The gardens and the streets awash,
The sky, a heavy grey.
House doors were no protection
as the elements held sway,
And the folk looked on in disbelief
as the bridge was swept away.

And the river rose, as the raindrops fell,
Surrounding all in a swirling hell,
And all heeded the call of the bidding bell
to gather in church to pray.

The fire, police -all services
are doing all they can,
to offer their assistance,
to every woman, child and man,
How best to effect a rescue
Is what they try to plan,
But all are quite exhausted
and are looking tired and wan.

Still the river rose, as the raindrops fell ,
surrounding all in a swirling hell
But now none can reach the bidding bell,
The waters have over run.

But a new day broke
The sky was blue-
Not a single cloud
to spoil the view
and the village folk
have all set to
cleaning and clearing up
as they must do.

And the river dropped and no more rain fell,
and folk were released from that swirliing hell
and they answered once more the bidding bell
to pray a heartfelt 'thank you'.

[Neal Allen (snowtracks)]

This ia a great poem about an epic flood. We are right there at the scene as you describe it. The rhyme scheme is strong although not consistent throughout. I don't know if it really matters because the poem works but it might be worth fiddling a bit with it to get the scheme the same throughout or through most of the poem. Why I say most of the poem is that I think the section containing the shorter lines starting "but a new day broke" are a very effective break away from the previous pattern as the signify the turning point in the disaster.

Another perhaps is that possibly the poem could be broken into stanzas. e.g. after "....was swept away" the writer has finished telling of how the rain came down and starts relating what the people did about it. It is a new idea with new rhyming words so maybe they deserve a new stanza?

Also the repeated bits about the river rising or in the last case, dropping, form a sort of refrain. It is powerful and entrenches the theme but maybe these quatrains should be made to stand out from the body of the poem by putting breaks before and after them

All the above are just food for thought but the poem does its job well and I really enjoyed reading it

[hazelmsmith]

Thank you for your kind words, I'll have a look at the ideas.

[SweetSilverBird]

This just came together as if it came to you whole-cloth out of the cloudy skies!!! It's gorgeous! It captures fear, forboding, images, traditions, the storm itself, and the the helplessness to resist nature. It shows the great relief when the disaster passes, and all help to bring things alright again. Perfect to end in giving Thanks. The Americans will appreciate that so soon after their own Thanksgiving.

Well done Hazel!

Has the water actually stopped now? ARe you guys dry yet?

[diannet]

Wow... this sounds scary, and reminds me so much of the disaster towns in Queensland when the floods came in 2011. You really did capture the feelings so well, that terror, then the relief afterwards, and that staunch resilience that people have to just get on with cleaning it up.

Love how you've set this out, very well done!