Bhavanidevi
Junior Member
Mystic, Shaman, Poet and life-long student of Comparative Religions.
Posts: 56
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Post by Bhavanidevi on Jan 6, 2013 2:25:37 GMT -6
68th AVENUE (*with apologies to Alfred Lord Tennyson) Dark house by which once more I stand, here in the long unlovely street. Drawn by some unseen ghost's command, here with the circle now complete. What unseen tethers bind me fast and bring me to you in my sleep? What answers to my troubled past? What secrets do your hallways keep? Untouched, unchanged by Chronos doom, once more I climb that wooden stair; to find again my gabled room, and know some consolation there. And silent vigil keep within, before the glow of memory's flame, 'til dawning Duty's calls begin, and steal remembrance once again. *** Beryle Chambers March 1994 *As a writing assignment I was once given the first two lines of Lord Tennyson's poem and challenged to draw my own pictures in imagination. It was fun. I recommend reading the original poem - which is of course much better than mine. Attachments:
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Post by Fire Monkey on Jan 6, 2013 4:20:02 GMT -6
A nicely written poem.
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Post by Neal Allen (snowtracks) on Jan 6, 2013 10:38:19 GMT -6
Hi Beryle
Yes the original was a very good poem but you have nicely succeeded in changing it into a different poem without taking anything away from the original.
Your nocturnal dream travels to the mystery house hint at unfinished business with someone lost but cleverly, we are not told the exact details. I think that touch of mystery serves the poem well.
The rhyme scheme and rhythm are strong and consistent and that makes the poem read easily, leaving us to ponder what secrets the past held for the dreamer.
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Post by diannet on Jan 6, 2013 16:12:15 GMT -6
What an interesting exercise. You have written love poem filled with more than a little mystery.
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Post by SweetSilverBird on Jan 6, 2013 20:10:02 GMT -6
Nicely done, Beryle. That's how my dreams go too. What a time it was!!! (I have a photograph.. ) I think as you go through the forum, you'll find my memoirs of the place too. Being sisters, I have the added advantage of listening to your poem, and seeing just what you are seeing, both in your dream's eye, and your dream's mind's eye.. if you know what I mean.
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