PORTAL OF DEATH

[Neal Allen (snowtracks)]

Here is a somewhat somber poem to start the new year with.

PORTAL OF DEATH

Spectral wraiths of crownless kings
throng the dreaded portal,
unsure of finding better things
or the meaning of immortal.
Unknowing of any tunnel,
or the brightest ever light,
certain only of the now of death,
and that life has taken flight.

Through twisted dark they find the gate
they come not ‘cause they choose,
they are banished here by fate,
they have nothing left to lose.
They don’t have to learn to die,
or how to find the way,
they no longer have control,
their fate they cannot sway.

Presidents & Holy men
all muster at the door.
Queens and feckless peasants too,
the same for rich and poor.
For the noble and the ugly
and the rich and starved of wife,
they are every one now very dead;
it’s the endless wheel of life.

[diannet]

Hi Neal, I really love this poem even though sombre but it really brings home that in the end we're all the same and face the same fate...that cannot be avoided. When I read it William Blake's paintings came to mind, particularly in the second stanza.

A great poem Neal.

[Neal Allen (snowtracks)]

Thank you Dianne. I have always been a fan of William Blake's poetry but don't really know his art. Since seeing your comment though, I have looked him up on the internet. It really is powerful stuff and I can see how it could be brought to mind by reading my "Portal of Death". Perhaps I should put one of his pictures under the poem? I'll think about it

[SweetSilverBird]

Hi Neal.

This was such a dark and gloomy piece from you. It speaks only about how death deals with everyone equally, and hopelessy and with no bargains. It ends with the words, "it’s the endless wheel of life.".

I must confess it was a bit shocking to read about the unremitting finality of death, tied up quite that way.

Otherwise I thought it was very well written. Lovely effortless rhyming by the way!

[Neal Allen (snowtracks)]

Thanks Deb. I feel that I cannot always try to make my poems positive and happy when I don't really feel that way about them. Sorry if it upset you.

[SweetSilverBird]

Oh Neal, that's not what I was trying to say. I really liked the poem, and it was brilliantly written. I was not disturbed by its darkness. If I was, I couldn't write a lot of what I do. I hope you know I have always loved your work, since the first one you put up, the 'Cloth of Life'.

I just found the last line to be so jarring, and perhaps that is what is meant. If so, then it's part of the poet's art - but I wanted to comment, because that's what we do. You are saying death is part of life. We all have to come to grips with that one!

[Brigid Briton]

Hi Neal,

A very enjoyable read. Rather than finding this depressing, I find it fun, much like reading a ghost story or watching a scary movie is fun.

Although I like this line: "Spectral wraiths of crownless kings", I think the "spectral" is a bit redundant since wraiths are, by definition, spectral. Perhaps another adjective? "Wretched?"

Another minor nit is that I think you meant "nothing left to lose" in the second stanza.

Too bad that Vincent Price and Boris Karloff are among the "very dead". Either could have done a bang-up job reciting this.

A fine start to the New Year, IMO.

[Neal Allen (snowtracks)]

Thanks Brigid. I have corrected loose to lose but do not show it as a new version because it was just a spelling mistake, I hear you on the redundancy in the first line but I want the line to have an ethereal, floaty quality and not necessarily make the wraiths wretched so I think I will live with the redundancy this time,

You are right that we need Vincent Price or Boris Karloff to do an audio Boo version. Hopefully they are creating the right spirit where they now find themselves.

Thanks for the constructive crit.

[Neal Allen (snowtracks)]

Hello Deb

Thank you for your gentle responses.Normally I like to think of myself as a gentle human being too. My opinions of what happens after death have grown to what they now are over years of thought and trying to understand. I do not necessarily like what I now tend to believe, On the other hand it is in a way very positive.

I do not actually see death as a significant event. I believe rather in the continuity of life from one living person to his/her offspring and even in the community of the life force amongst the living. I once wrote quite a long philosophical poem on this topic but I do not consider it suitable for publication on this site. I will however quote you just one of many stanzas here so you can get another glimpse into how I thing and feel about the meaning of life and death. Here is that verse.

"When a mother gives birth to a daughter or son
A new consciousness flickers; we say a life has begun
But the young candle’s flame is born from the old
The same life burns on in a new body bold
Life of Mother, life of Father; No new life unfolds"

That's it but the logical next step is to say that it does not matter if one life reaches it's end because that life force persists and is simply continued in the new body of the younger offspring.

[Fire Monkey]

I enjoyed this poem - dark has never bothered me - I find the expression of the ideas to be quite excellent.

[Neal Allen (snowtracks)]

Thank you Fire Monkey. Like you, I have been out of circulation for a while. This status is in fact going to be the norm for a while because I am trying to launch a new business venture. I am reading all your stuff though and enjoying it within the time I can spend on it. Your comments are appreciated.

[Bhavanidevi]

This is a powerful poem. It brought to my mind the dead kings in the barrow in Lord of the Rings. The eeriness of the atmosphere is well described. The inclusiveness of all types and status of humans in that damp and dark embrace telling. And yet... there are tunnels and the brightest ever Light. They have not found them yet but the possibility of a step sideways or even up seems possible. The line that I really got was "For the noble and the ugly
and the rich and starved of wife". I notice the pairing of noble and rich which leaves ugly and starved of wife. Starved of wife - brilliant! I have never heard the loneliness of the outcast described better. There is a correlation between the self perception of ugly and the deep isolation of being without a lover. Unspoken is "it's not fair!" - and it is not. It is an excellent poem, a brave poem even as darkness covers it. It speaks the heartbreak and disillusion of many. And we are grateful.

[Neal Allen (snowtracks)]

Thank you Beryle. Your positive critique has really built me up at a time that I need that rather badly. Take care

[Bhavanidevi]

I'm glad it helped. Someone once told me that if we have the gift of poetry, we must write because even if no one we know reads our poems, they still become part of the collective unconscious and affect "Reality" in a Quantum Physics kind of way. I have no doubt that you have contributed many great ideas, ideals, lessons and wisdom. Having the courage to share such speaks very well of you.