A Mouse's Tale

[John Walton]

A Mouse’s Tale

There was never a mouse
in the Minister's house.
Such vermin were never allowed.
The Minister's cat
would boast about that -
a record of which she was proud.

For mice, times were hard
with her stood on guard.
She was never a cat to relax.
Not even a spider
could sneak by beside her
without being stopped in its tracks.

But as she got older
the mice became bolder
and so we arrive at the day
when a brave young mouse
knocked at the house
and asked could he possibly stay.

"Stay?!" the cat cried,
with her mouth open wide,
thinking he'd taste rather yummy.
"Of course you can stay.
Come right this way.
I've got plenty of room in my tummy!"

"Please step aside,"
the brave mouse replied,
"there's room for both of us here.
I'm tiny, it's true,
but I'm not scared of you.
I don't know the meaning of fear.

You're frightfully hairy
but not at all scary.
In fact, you've a wonderful smile.
And being so kind,
I'm sure you won't mind
if my relatives stop for a while.

My father, he died,"
the little mouse sighed,
"when still in the prime of his life.
It's just me and my mother,
my sister, my brother,
my very best friend and his wife."


"Oh no!" screamed the cat,
"I can't allow that!
I can't let your family stop here.
That just wouldn't do.
If the Minister knew
I'd be out with a flea in my ear."

"You'll wake the whole house"
said the cheeky, wee mouse,
"I do wish you'd lower your voice.
You've made it quite clear
that you don't want us here
but really you don't have a choice."

And having said that
he flew past the cat
and ran up the stairs with a grin.
"I told you before,
you can stand at the door
but you can't stop a mouse coming in!

And it seems such a shame
that I've got a bad name
and the Minister sees me as vermin.
But wait till he sees
I've eaten his cheese
and gnawed on a page from his sermon!

The Minister's wife
will pick up a knife
and threaten to cut off your tail!"
"Oh dear," said the mouse,
"is it cold in this house?
You've suddenly gone very pale."

"I'm bruised but not beaten
and haven't yet eaten!"
snarled the cat as she beat a retreat.
"So 'Beware of the Cat',
like it says on the mat
and make sure you all wipe your feet!"

mylifemywordsmypoetry.blogspot.com

[Daniel Mark Extrom]

Very cute, John!

You have a storyteller in you. 

One question: In two places, I had trouble following who was speaking. Between stanza 5 and stanza 6, I thought it changed, but then I realized it was the same speaker (mouse). 

And, the same thing between stanzas 10 and 11.

Is it appropriate to leave out the quotation marks at end of stanza where the same speaker speaks at beginning of next stanza? 

That's how you'd do it when writing prose. 

Dan

[John Walton]

Good point re. speech. I will try to alter the speech marks.

[Cory Raymond]

Hi John,

This is completely charming. I think someone mentioned it somewhere before (maybe it was even me!) that you have the qualifications for a great children's book writer. This is so clever. Grab yourself an illustrator (there are all sorts of free-lancers online) and get famous!

Cory

[John Walton]

If only it was that easy Cory. But thank you for your encouraging comment.

[Cory Raymond]

Hi John,

What can I say, I'm an eternal optimist. I really like your work! Cory

[Reilley]

A cute children's poem, and in most places the rhythm and rhyme flow naturally.

For me, the one place I got tripped up was the second stanza, second line "...with her stood on guard."

Maybe it might flow better as "...WHEN SHE stood on guard." or "...with her STANDING on guard."

Just my two cents, your mileage may vary.