Sinful Hunger

Brigid Briton
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Bemused.

Posts: 2,407

Sinful Hunger Apr 15, 2014 10:05:21 GMT -6 Cory Raymond likes this

Quote

Post by Brigid Briton on Apr 15, 2014 10:05:21 GMT -6

Today's #heartsoup prompt was: "sinful hunger"

Here's my response:

Revision, adding punctuation per Cory's suggestion:

Eve’s sinful hunger
couldn’t be slaked
by any mere apple.
It was apple, covered
in chocolate, that led to the fall.

Original

Eve’s sinful hunger
couldn’t be slaked
by any mere apple.
It was apple covered
in chocolate that led to the fall.

Last Edit: Apr 19, 2014 20:09:37 GMT -6 by Brigid Briton

"Poetry, she thought, wasn't written to be analyzed; it was meant to inspire without reason, to touch without understanding"~Nicholas Sparks

Cory Raymond Full Member Happy to be here! Posts: 144	Sinful Hunger Apr 16, 2014 14:31:57 GMT -6 Brigid Briton likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Cory Raymond on Apr 16, 2014 14:31:57 GMT -6 Hi Brigid, Good one! I'd probably add a comma after the second "apple" and again after "chocolate", just for clarity's sake. Cory
	On again, off again poet-at-large.

Brigid Briton Administrator Bemused. Posts: 2,407	Sinful Hunger Apr 19, 2014 20:08:20 GMT -6 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Brigid Briton on Apr 19, 2014 20:08:20 GMT -6 You're right! I'll revise!
	"Poetry, she thought, wasn't written to be analyzed; it was meant to inspire without reason, to touch without understanding"~Nicholas Sparks

Post by Brigid Briton on Apr 15, 2014 10:05:21 GMT -6

Post by Cory Raymond on Apr 16, 2014 14:31:57 GMT -6

Post by Brigid Briton on Apr 19, 2014 20:08:20 GMT -6