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Post by Brigid Briton on Feb 28, 2011 0:09:18 GMT -6
My mind is befuddled by the wandering rhyming scheme in our other challenge so I need to clear my mind with a haiku. For those of you not familiar with the Japanese form, the traditional haiku is three lines of 5-7-5 syllables. Modern haiku tend to be shorter than this. Traditional haiku always had nature themes. Modern haiku can be about anything, really. The basic idea (and believe me there are lots and lots and lots of ideas about these little gems of poetry) is to capture a moment---a Zen moment, if at all possible, or a simple idea in just a few words.
Punctuation should be minimal.
So, I challenge you to write a poem about poets, writers, poetry, words, or something related to what we do writing-wise!
Haiku do not normally have titles but I find it confusing if they don't and there's a whole bunch of them so this is how I identify mine:
haiku (verbose)
a verbose man
he measures his poetry
by the pound
OK, anyone want to play?
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Post by Fire Monkey on Feb 28, 2011 0:53:15 GMT -6
haiku (cat)
A cat sleeps quiet
No concerns of what's around
She is master here
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Post by Brigid Briton on Feb 28, 2011 10:47:32 GMT -6
Nice haiku, Tim, but not much on the subject of the challenge, which is poetry, poets, writing, etc. No matter, the main point was really just to write a haiku. I have found that having to fit my thoughts into seventeen syllables (or less) is a great way to sharpen my image-making. I love haiku and this is a good one! Brigid  |
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Post by Fire Monkey on Feb 28, 2011 12:44:10 GMT -6
Sorry about that, somehow I managed to not get it exactly right - I see what you wanted now and I'll see about writing a haiku that is on topic.  |
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Post by Fire Monkey on Feb 28, 2011 12:47:40 GMT -6
Haiku (words)
Words are very old
All things started with a WORD
Spoken in silence
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Post by Brigid Briton on Feb 28, 2011 22:23:17 GMT -6
Nice one, Tim!
Now, that's what I'm talkin' about!
Brigid
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Post by Fire Monkey on Mar 1, 2011 2:25:27 GMT -6
haiku is not my strong point - I tend to be more of the long winded variety ;D
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Post by SweetSilverBird on Mar 1, 2011 2:37:20 GMT -6
You're braver than I, Monkey. I will watch for a while, and see if I catch the haiku bug!  |
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Post by Fire Monkey on Mar 1, 2011 3:45:01 GMT -6
I'm not sure if I'm brave or crazy ;D there was a time when I was good at haiku but that was many years ago - when I was in grade 7. Somehow back then I could manage to express myself in a few words but as I grew older I found it harder.
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Post by Brigid Briton on Mar 1, 2011 11:26:52 GMT -6
Come on, Deb, won't you jump in here with us? The thing I adore about haiku is that if forces the writer to focus, eliminate all unnecessary words, capture a moment or thought. They have really influenced all of my poetry so much. Hats off to haiku! Here's another example for you: modern haiku (spring breeze) spring breeze caresses verbs bathing in noun of sunlight Come on, Deb, pleeasse! And Tim, I think you're a lot better at this than you give yourself credit for. I wouldn't mind seeing more haiku from you---not in the least! Brigid |
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Post by Fire Monkey on Mar 1, 2011 12:41:34 GMT -6
It isn't that I think haiku I write are bad but rather that it is very hard for me to write one at all - I manage to put a few together but it takes a lot longer than it used to and I can't always get one at all.
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Post by SweetSilverBird on Mar 1, 2011 15:46:52 GMT -6
Brigid, you are quite convincing! I will sit down and play with words later on today after I have a little nap. (I'm needing one, believe me!) Haiku is probably in some ways, more difficult than other forms of poetry, and yet simple. I've always loved minimalism in art. Maybe I can learn to love it in poetry too? (no promises...  |
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Post by Fire Monkey on Mar 1, 2011 15:57:36 GMT -6
You can do it Deb - you are good with a quick turn of phrase and that is one of the key talents for haiku - not the only one, but an important one. Besides, if someone as verbose as me can write one then I'm sure you can.
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Post by Brigid Briton on Mar 1, 2011 16:04:04 GMT -6
I have to warn both of you since I know you're both probably easily influenced...haiku are addictive. I used to think they were stupid, why anyone could write three lines with 17 syllables or less. Well, that part is true, it's just that it's not necessarily a haiku.
Haiku have made me slow down, and really look at things, especially in nature. Wow! So much going on if you can only get yourself out of warp drive for a few moments. I love 'em. Can ya tell?
Tim, verbose? OMG, you are nowhere near being verbose. (Unless, of course, you are secretly measuring your poetry by the pound!!!)
I'm so glad you guys are here!
Brigid
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Post by Fire Monkey on Mar 1, 2011 18:07:05 GMT -6
I mean that I in general am rather noted for being long winded - I have to fight to keep from talking people-s ears off ;D In my poetry I tend to lean towards long poems - not wasted words, just a lot of them |
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Post by SweetSilverBird on Mar 1, 2011 18:27:16 GMT -6
I like Haiku The word- mud is made clear So do you Stars in Sky make a silly poet's rhymes too high Too much noise. There is too much rhyming in your poem. =) Free verse is mistaken for a poem with no song How are those for a beginner Brigid? These are just for fun, right? |
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Post by SweetSilverBird on Mar 1, 2011 22:49:16 GMT -6
I am confused, Brigid, could you tell me what the number of syllables are for each line?
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Post by Brigid Briton on Mar 2, 2011 0:50:23 GMT -6
Hi Deb,
Traditional haiku is 5-7-5 syllables per line. Modern haiku can have fewer syllables. I like the first of these the best---nice and circular.
I could have sworn I commented here earlier. I must have forgotten to hit "Post Reply". It's been one of those days!
syllables
no, whole posts disappear
when you're tired
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Post by Fire Monkey on Mar 2, 2011 2:50:44 GMT -6
Interestingly
The last for me was best
The first seemed ragged
Ok - comment by haiku is a bit risky so I'll expand on that. I did like the concept of the first one but somehow the middle line felt uneven - it wasn't bad, just seemed to need polish. The last one I liked the most. So now you have two opinions - seems Brigid and I have different tastes and between us, both the first and last were loved ;D
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Post by Brigid Briton on Mar 2, 2011 10:04:12 GMT -6
Hi Deb & Tim, That's what I love about exchanging ideas. I liked the first because it was funny, and a bit ambiguous. Is it the "word" that's made clear or is it the word "mud" that's made clear. This, to me is the beauty of poetry---there's always room for difference of meaning. The last one didn't really do it for me because I think that free verse is more often mistaken for a song without music, or something like that. Because people are looking for the "hook"---the rhyming "payoff" in songs that goes with the rhythm of the song. I really do enjoy the poem, however, since it takes on the often misunderstood genre of free verse. I think both of you are great assets to this forum. Your avatars are awesome! |
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