Limerick Challenge

[Brigid Briton]

How about another limerick challenge? It's been a while since we really indulged our nonsensical sides, so do you want to have a go?

Here's mine:

There once was a girl so romantic
she fell for a boy quite pedantic
who lectured in verse
and so made her curse
the day he discovered semantics.

[SweetSilverBird]

Okay Brigid, I'll play!

A beautiful blue Himalayan
Decided she just wouldn't stay in.
She floofed up her fur,
Took off in a blur-
We tell folks she's simply mis-laden. ;D

[heatherwordbender]

There once was an unholy terror,
Quite convinced he was never in error,
Until such a disgrace
He was banned every place
Now his malicious misdeeds are much rarer.



*added the much. better rhythm

[Brigid Briton]

Hi Deb and Heather,

Your limericks are awesome!

[dustandwater]

I do like a limerick.

A young girl who lived down in Cantebury
Invited the vicar for afternoon tea
She added a shot of strong liquor
Which quite captured the tastes of the vicar
And now he takes mass in the brewery.

I'm not sure about the correctness of some elements here: Vicar - Mass? and the verb for mass, 'give' or 'take'?

-D&W

[Brigid Briton]

Hi d&w

I guess we'll have to wait for the Catholics to weigh in here. I'm not sure whether vicars celebrate mass (I think they do). "Takes" mass, I believe would indicate that someone else is serving it, which would be correct, considering he's in a brewery, not a church. (Of course it wouldn't really be mass since bartenders aren't authorized to celebrate it, but, this is a limerick, after all, so poetic license is rampant.)

I do question the rhyming of "Cantebury" (sic) and "afternoon tea". Why not just say "a young girl who lived by the sea" or some such?

But that nit-picking aside, I found this quite a romp!

[Reilley]

There once was a Bishop from Bree
who splashed mud on a young lady's knee
She cried, "Heavens above!"
He said, "Yes, I know, love,
But I must be getting back for my tea."

[Brigid Briton]

Good one, Reilley, with just the right amount of subtle naughtiness! I'm really glad you dragged this old challenge back up. Anybody else want to play?

[Reilley]

There was a young man from Australia
Whose limericks were kind of a failure.
He'd be doing just fine
Until he reached the fifth line,
And then he... Oh damn.

[Brigid Briton]

Hiya Reilley,

Great! I might say "reached" instead of "got to" in the fourth line, to maintain limerick cadence.

[Reilley]

There once was a man from Nantucket

Who put all of his fish in one bucket.

He saw just in time

That he was in a dirty rhyme

So he simply decided to chuck it.

[Reilley]

Limericks are almost never clean
Read a few and see what I mean
Most of them are quite naughty,
Earthy, horny and bawdy
Tame ones are few and far between.

The limericks that I like the best
Are those that put morals to the test.
The ones that are so mild
They can be told to a child
Stand head and shoulders above the rest.

The trick is in not thinking dirty
Which is difficult if you are under thirty.
So stay away from things biological
And all things scatological
And try not to make it too wordy.

[Brigid Briton]

Good one, Reilley! Not a limerick, but an ode to a limerick! Made me smile! (see?)