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Post by Fire Monkey on Oct 7, 2011 23:03:42 GMT -6
I posted a song in the Music section called Diamonds On The Soles Of Her Shoes and I'd like to challenge everyone to write a poem that is inspired by this song [perhaps a response to it] in whatever style you like - perhaps you can use the music and write your poem as a new set of lyrics. |
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Post by Reilley on Oct 8, 2011 16:41:29 GMT -6
I love this song, and will take some time with this challenge.
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Post by heatherwordbender on Oct 8, 2011 17:05:42 GMT -6
I started...but no way can I compete with Paul Simon...don't even know how to start. Will keep thinking on it though
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Post by Fire Monkey on Oct 8, 2011 17:13:26 GMT -6
Don't think of it as competing with him - think of it as being inspired by him ;D I look forward to seeing what people can do [after all, if we can have a Poe challenge then a Simon challenge isn't unreasonable  ] |
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Post by heatherwordbender on Oct 8, 2011 18:52:18 GMT -6
Hah! Not so sure...I couldn't post on the other, but to me PS has a way of coupling the music and lyrics which allows the strength of the interpretation to come from the composite...much more so than other artists. The tune and rhythm allow the lyrics to be oblique at best and still convey his ideas very clearly. I don't know how to do that at all. And I'm pondering how much to attempt.  |
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Post by heatherwordbender on Oct 9, 2011 10:05:07 GMT -6
Hum..well...the deed is done. Not sure I like it. What I tried was to keep the theme, keep the take, keep the singability. Inadvertently darkened it. Or made it more overt, one.
(A-wa a-wa) o kodwa u zo-nge li-sa namhlange
(A-wa a-wa) si-bona kwenze ka kanjani
(A-wa a-wa) amanto mbazane ayeza
Cocktail party
Just like every other
She's throwing empty day after day
Workin' two jobs
He's not gettin' any younger
Not gettin' any further, time's wasting away
Sing ta na na
Ta na na na
Just throwing empty day after day
Ta na na
Ta na na na
Just throwing empty day after day
Throwing empty day after day
Throwing empty day after day
Throwing empty day after day
Throwing empty day after day
People damning her for lazy
Say she's throwing empty day after empty day
But empty running's not much better
than just letting the time slip away
Just throwing empty day after empty day
It was total fascination
Y'know opposites attract oh yeah
They do.
She said you want my God-damned party
After party
And my empty repetitions
Poor boy said "oo oo oo"
Saying it don' matter
in the slightest
Like nobody here would give
A damn about her parties
Talking about throwing empty day after empty day
Tonight we're hanging with the Joneses
So he takes off for the day
Calls in sick to work
Yeah, what the hell -he'll play
Substitute a night for his low blue collar pay
And she said maybe we hit a show
But they landed in a smoky
Grunge Cafe
In some basement in some
Dark back alleyway
Just throwing empty day after empty day
And I could say oo oo oo
And everybody here would know
What I was talking about
I mean everybody here would know exactly
What I was talking about
Empty day after empty day after empty day
People say I'm crazy
I'm just throwing empty day after empty day
Well that's one way to wile
the waiting time away
Throwing empty day after empty day
Ta na na
Ta na na na
(Repeat to fade out)
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Post by Fire Monkey on Oct 9, 2011 23:03:01 GMT -6
I think that's a good effort - it can be hard to write something when there are lyrics you know that jump in on you - sometimes it is easier if you have an instrumental piece which you never heard the lyrics of. Anyway, I'm glad you wrote something and if you aren't happy with it, you can always try another - that's the beauty of poetry [lyrical or otherwise] is that there are always more poems to write |
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Post by thisismyengland on Nov 12, 2011 0:02:46 GMT -6
All I did was use the one line of the title in this little bit:
a girl at university
yearning in the motion of her hips
dullness in the lightness of her words
brightness in the quickness of her mouth
madness in the mildness of her brow
distance in the violet of her eyes
purpose in the focus of her gaze
money in the feeling of her touch
diamonds on the soles of her shoes
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Post by Brigid Briton on Nov 12, 2011 7:44:10 GMT -6
Hiya "time", Glad to see you turn up here. I love this one, especially "madness in the mildness of her brow". Great job! |
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Post by heatherwordbender on Nov 12, 2011 8:58:01 GMT -6
Oh yes. I like that one! Cool.
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Post by Fire Monkey on Nov 27, 2011 20:24:17 GMT -6
Sorry that I've been away - lots on my plate this last while so I haven't be on much. I like the image - it is well constructed with each phrase building to form a whole and while some of the phrases seem to contradict themselves, like, "dullness in the lightness of her words", when all put together they do in fact work perfectly to create an impression.
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Post by thisismyengland on Nov 28, 2011 9:12:24 GMT -6
some of the phrases seem to contradict themselves, like, "dullness in the lightness of her words", A contradiction was not intended. She only say light, pleasant things and this is part of what is boring about her. |
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Post by Brigid Briton on Nov 28, 2011 10:11:26 GMT -6
Hi "time", Your intent on that line was clear to me. |
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Post by Fire Monkey on Nov 28, 2011 12:38:40 GMT -6
I understood also, what I meant was the terms contradict "dullness"/"lightness" - the two terms both can mean more than one thing but just standing there they seem in conflict and it is resolved by the context of the rest. I thought my meaning was clear but then, my mind is on a lot of stuff these days so I may well have expressed myself poorly. Sorry.
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