John Walton
Junior Member
Please check out my Blog - mylifemywordsmypoetry.blogspot.com
Posts: 78
|
Post by John Walton on Feb 19, 2014 2:19:21 GMT -6
THE DOCTOR'S WAITING ROOM
The receptionist smiled sweetly. "Please, take a seat", she said. But when I saw the queue I knew I should have stayed in bed. By the time I saw a doctor I would probably be dead. The people there before me Had fevers, coughs and sneezes, Aches and pains and bumps and strains, Dizzy spells and wheezes. They bragged about their illnesses And other rare diseases. It seemed to me they did not need A doctor's diagnosis. Everyone was suffering from A mild form of neurosis. Except a man sat on his own He had halitosis. They all had symptoms worse than mine So, feeling like a fraud, I stood up and I shouted, "It's a miracle! I'm cured!" And as I left the surgery They started to applaud.
mylifemywordsmypoetry.blogspot.com twitter - @johnew1964
Attachments:
|
|
|
Post by Brigid Briton on Feb 19, 2014 10:33:18 GMT -6
|
|
John Walton
Junior Member
Please check out my Blog - mylifemywordsmypoetry.blogspot.com
Posts: 78
|
Post by John Walton on Feb 20, 2014 14:50:37 GMT -6
Thank you once again. Glad I made you smile!
John
|
|
|
Post by SweetSilverBird on Feb 21, 2014 2:27:57 GMT -6
Nice to meet you John. I have to say that I really was charmed by this piece. It has such great build up! By the time it reaches the end, one almost expects an explosion, and you sort of give us one! I could feel the germaphobia growing by the second. Well done.
|
|
John Walton
Junior Member
Please check out my Blog - mylifemywordsmypoetry.blogspot.com
Posts: 78
|
Post by John Walton on Feb 21, 2014 13:16:54 GMT -6
Pleasure to meet you! Glad you enjoyed my poem. Thank you for the feedback.
|
|
|
Post by Fire Monkey on Feb 23, 2014 11:49:46 GMT -6
That was a lovely piece, nicely written with a good flow and a wonderful eye both to capturing a moment of reality and seeing it in a way that is refreshing and also seeing the humor in something that most tend to only see the dreary in. Well done. It's always nice to see new people here and it is especially pleasant to meet someone over a good poem. Welcome to the board, I hope you have looked around and read some of the many great poems that have been posted and I hope you will be posting more of your own work.
|
|
|
Post by Reilley on Mar 11, 2014 12:49:00 GMT -6
Nice piece, it flowed really well, and the crescendo was deserving of applause. Keep writing!
|
|
|
Post by Daniel Mark Extrom on Mar 23, 2014 20:17:59 GMT -6
Hi John,
I'm late to this one, but wanted you to know I liked it! A very good flow and rhythm, and it reads like a scene in a novel or a sit-com.
Very good!
Dan
|
|
|
Post by Cory Raymond on Mar 23, 2014 20:44:49 GMT -6
Good one, John!
|
|