|
Post by Brigid Briton on Apr 20, 2014 7:41:06 GMT -6
Hi Cory,
Love this. Every cat lover's wish, I'm sure. Brigid
|
|
|
Post by Brigid Briton on Apr 19, 2014 21:00:08 GMT -6
Very pretty, Lisa. So evocative of loneliness...
|
|
|
Post by Brigid Briton on Apr 19, 2014 20:32:41 GMT -6
Sorry I missed this first time around, Cory. A nice, intimate view of pre-family life. Enjoyed it! Brigid
|
|
|
Post by Brigid Briton on Apr 19, 2014 20:10:45 GMT -6
Sadness is knowing that the Easter Bunny won’t remember me again this year.
|
|
|
Post by Brigid Briton on Apr 19, 2014 20:08:20 GMT -6
You're right! I'll revise!
|
|
|
Post by Brigid Briton on Apr 18, 2014 18:15:11 GMT -6
Hi eiken,
What a lovely glimpse into your world. Sounds downright heavenly!
Brigid
|
|
|
Post by Brigid Briton on Apr 18, 2014 7:32:10 GMT -6
Hi Sergio,
Another very moving piece from you. Thanks for sharing this sad story with us.
Brigid
|
|
|
Post by Brigid Briton on Apr 18, 2014 6:27:29 GMT -6
Thanks Sergio and eiken,
I appreciate your comments.
Brigid
|
|
|
Post by Brigid Briton on Apr 17, 2014 7:30:18 GMT -6
Hi Sergio,
I love poems that make me think, tickle my brain a bit. This is one of those. You have an unique way with words. Keep 'em comin'. Brigid
|
|
|
Post by Brigid Briton on Apr 16, 2014 17:55:55 GMT -6
Hi Chris,
I'm glad you weighed in on this. You have a wonderful wealth of stories about your family. I would really love to read a poem about a man who never stands so tall as when he kneels to hug a child! That may be an aphorism, but it is not a cliché. I think all of us are better people for having listened to and absorbed our grandmothers' wisdom.
Brigid
|
|
|
Post by Brigid Briton on Apr 16, 2014 17:08:04 GMT -6
river bank sunlit mirrors blaze wet turtle shells
|
|
|
Post by Brigid Briton on Apr 16, 2014 10:20:44 GMT -6
Your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to write a five line poem on the subject of Poetry. The lines may be any length, and punctuated as you choose. Only restrictions: 5 lines about Poetry. Good luck! Here's a sample: Oh, now she wants me to sum up all my heartfelt feelings about my beloved poetry in a measly five lines.
|
|
|
Post by Brigid Briton on Apr 15, 2014 10:05:21 GMT -6
Today's #heartsoup prompt was: "sinful hunger"
Here's my response:
Revision, adding punctuation per Cory's suggestion:
Eve’s sinful hunger couldn’t be slaked by any mere apple. It was apple, covered in chocolate, that led to the fall.
Original
Eve’s sinful hunger couldn’t be slaked by any mere apple. It was apple covered in chocolate that led to the fall.
|
|
|
Post by Brigid Briton on Apr 15, 2014 10:00:50 GMT -6
Hi Cory,
A powerful and sad poem. I'll be thinking about this one for a while...
Brigid
|
|
|
Post by Brigid Briton on Apr 14, 2014 19:46:05 GMT -6
A very pretty piece of poetry, Cory. I'm glad you're enjoying the prompts and 5 line poems.
Brigid
|
|
|
Post by Brigid Briton on Apr 14, 2014 19:43:06 GMT -6
Hi Dan,
I think what Chris is saying is pretty clear. In poetry, I believe the way an idea is expressed is as important as the idea itself. And, as I said, I think Chris' heart is in the right place. While clichés abound in sports, board rooms, and every day language, as shorthand for what we really mean, the poet's job is to figure out ways of expressing ideas without resorting to clichés.
I don't believe that clichés are more prevalent among males than females. We all use them, all the time.
I do think that this discussion is going way beyond the scope of Chris' poem so will ask that further comments in this thread be limited to the merits or Chris' poem, which has a lot of them.
If you, or anyone, would like to start a thread on the subject of the use of clichés in poetry and/or in the larger world, please start a thread in the Poet's Community Center section.
And Chris: I know that you are an accomplished (and much published) poet, so I would love to get your feedback on my observations about your use of cliché in this piece.
Brigid
|
|
|
Post by Brigid Briton on Apr 14, 2014 19:21:21 GMT -6
Bravo, Dan!
I do believe that this is one of your best. It says what you want to say, with a minimum of embellishment. It's funny. It rather reminds me of something our great should-be children's book writer, John, would do, using rhyme to engage and amuse, although John's work, of course, does tend to be considerably longer.
What I really like about it is that I believe it is the first poem you've written especially for this forum, while most, if not all, of the other work you've posted has been something that you've already "set in stone" (or etched into) one of your poem/picture frames.
It's very difficult to comment on that sort of work because there's no going back, no reconsidering, no editing possible.
While there's nothing wrong with posting work here that's for "display only", my aim in creating this forum was to promote a give-and-take of ideas between poets and readers, wherein we, as poets, consider suggestions, and perhaps make modifications after reflecting on those suggestions. Unfortunately, that sort of give-and-take hasn't really been happening here lately. (And I'm speaking in general, not with regard to your work alone).
I've really been wondering for a while whether you ever write poetry that's solely for your own amusement. I would really love to see that sort of work from you, whether it be very short or very long. I enjoy your work and appreciate your participation here, but there's that niggling little bit of curiosity...about what you might write for your own eyes (or the eyes of a few trusted fellow poets) only. It's just a thought...
Brigid
|
|
|
Post by Brigid Briton on Apr 14, 2014 16:31:00 GMT -6
Hi Sphinx and welcome to the forum,
This is a colorful debut, to be sure.
You apparently forgot to log back in before responding to Dan's comment. Therefore, you show up as a guest in that comment. Just to keep things from getting confusing, it's a good idea to log in before you respond to a comment. Otherwise, the forum software isn't able to correctly keep track of the number of posts you make as a member.
Thanks.
Brigid
|
|
|
Tin Man
Apr 12, 2014 22:29:21 GMT -6
Post by Brigid Briton on Apr 12, 2014 22:29:21 GMT -6
Today's #heartsoup prompt on Twitter was "the polished surface" and the #orjay prompt was "rainbow of passion".
I responded to both prompts with one 5 line poem:
Beneath the Tin Man's polished surface swirls a rainbow of passion. If only he had a heart.
|
|
|
Post by Brigid Briton on Apr 12, 2014 21:58:29 GMT -6
Hi Tim,
You are so creative. The people walking around in the dark, giving each other wide berth, is so evocative of our society today. You're right, it isn't the darkness that's scary, it's what we think we perceive there that's the real danger.
I marvel at how you are able to bring so many aspects of art together. I especially enjoyed the sizzling lightning parts. Very awesome! Thank you for sharing this labor of love with us.
Brigid
|
|